A new chapter unfolds at Lak'weh of Light

Max, my forever heart hound. 2011-May 19 2025

Hello beloved Lak’weh of Light supporters, I’ve come to share a message/update/yap sesh about the last few months & how I’m moving forward with Lak’weh of Light. 

In the middle of May, I said the big “see you later” to my best friend. 

I know, it’s not the nicest way to share a message with you, but my best buddy Max, who had been my heart and soul for 12 years, needed help walking to the rainbow bridge.

This was the hardest decision I’d ever made but the most obvious one– it was clear to me that he had used his body to the fullest & his joints were now too tired to carry him any longer. 

It was really hard losing what felt like my entire support system, the light of my life, my best friend, my self-appointed “at-your-service-dog” who had an uncanny sense of humor that, to me, rivals that of most human beings. I’ve never met a soul like him in my life before. That connection was something special & rare.

My [human] best friend and I (bless her soul for coming with me to this difficult appointment) laid beautiful Max to rest on May 19th around noon. It was a quiet, sunny day, and he popped his head out the car window one last time and took in what he could still smell of the breeze. He went quietly while I pet him to his last breath. I felt relieved that he would no longer be in pain. It hurt, but I knew it was the right thing to do.

He was buried under a Douglas Fir tree I planted in the yard of my childhood home when I was in 2nd grade. I laid spruce branches, lily of the valley, forest ferns, and spruce cones over his grave. I put his favorite soccer ball on top in his honor. 

For months, that brave, ragged ball somehow withstood summertime monsoons, dangerous winds, and every critter that runs from the forest through my yard every night. Proudly it stood on his grave like a flag of honor.

A couple weeks back the soccer ball moved and rolled right under the Douglas Fir. I thought that strange considering how miraculously sturdy it had been for months, unmoving. I sat with it for a while, not feeling an answer. But, when I got up, my whole life shifted imperceptibly six feet to the left, just like that soccer ball had. 

A landslide of grief I’d been buried in finally seemed to break apart and wash away. It was like I could finally catch my breath and once more caught little glimpses of my vibrance again. 

I had been in the darkness for months. I’d stepped away from giving Ceremonial Readings, my favorite place to be, because I felt empty inside. I had nothing to give anymore. I felt sad turning away each person that reached out asking to book with me. I focused instead on hosting classes online & finishing artworks I’d been working on for some time. But all along my stomach twisted in knots wondering if I’d ever be able to return to my happy place. Because right now, I felt lost without my best friend. I couldn't be in service if I tried. I felt far too empty, lost at sea.

Finally, I had 10 finished pieces of artwork, and I scanned and photographed and edited them and somehow ended up with my final copies ready to order. Time flew past. I had traveled across the US to see my family, cried my heart out at the Tree of Life, and sat quietly at the edge of ponds, watching little bluegills make nests & aquatic newts noodle around in the sunlight. I spent a lot of time praying, crying, and quietly reflecting on the miracle of Max’s life I was blessed to experience. In this time, watching wildlife was a great comfort, as well as my new kitten I named Lynx, whom I believe Max sent to watch after me (and, as a clever dog full of tricks, he needed someone to keep me busy with her very naughty kitten antics!).

One day, it started coming back to me. I guess it started the moment I walked away from the soccer ball, feeling that very subtle shift in the winds.

I felt my energy begin to return. I started swimming regularly, and picking up hobbies again like crochet and tinkering with an aquarium of aquatic frogs (who many of you have met through my Tiktok lives!). I started feeling more at home in my body, like I was picking up pieces of myself that were long-forgotten. And believe me, it took immense effort to get up and make these choices, but I realized that life was not going to move forward unless I allowed it to. Something needed to be done to wipe the thick layer of dust I felt had settled onto my psyche.

And all the while, signs of Max surrounded me. He came to visit me in so many ways I could not count, and even though I couldn’t hold him anymore, I was reminded of countless memories we shared, as he poured into my cup in the deepest way that he could every single day of his life. I drank medicine from his tree and called on his spirit when I felt lonely. He helped forge & mold me through the tides of grief. He listened quietly while I reshaped my story. He was, and is, my greatest cheerleader while I learn how to transmute what hurts into good medicine. 

Finally, now, we are here. 

I’m writing this to you because I have finally picked up enough pieces of myself to say that Max would be proud of me– and I am proud of me. 

I’m returning to Ceremonial Readings again, only this time they’re going to be a little different, because this time I am a little different.

Nobody walks through the veil of grief unchanged. 

This time, I feel a more refined version of me coming through. 

Someone that is more comfortable being herself. 

Someone who has trudged through a challenge teeth gritted and screaming at times, but she still did it anyway she could figure it out. 

Someone who is doing these things not for approval or in hopes that she will be accepted (some things I processed in the time of grieving), but because it comes from her heart and it feels like home. 

I’m witnessing the rebirth of myself and Ceremonial Readings– now named appropriately for their content– Spirit Helper Consultations. 

Because, let’s be real here: I’ve learned that in me there is no power at all but that of the Great Spirit, the Creator, the Benevolent One.

And there are wonderful spirits who come from that power, who are devoted to that power, who seek to remove obstacles standing between us and that power.

They are the ones who have the powers to see things most can’t, can reveal things most don’t know about, and can heal & clear blockages that I couldn’t.

And I call them Helper Spirits– and those are the guys who share with me the information that’s channeled in these sessions. That is who me and you are sitting with when we go into session together. I’m just the conduit between you and them. The neutral third party, so to speak. 

So, I wanted to bring honor to that and clarify it moving forward from here by putting it in the name. Now that the fog has dispersed, and clarity came even to Readings, too.

I’m not a psychic reader, and the power isn’t mine to behold– but I am a Seer, and I do commune with the Spiritual Helpers who show me things that I couldn’t see all on my own.

And since the beginning, you have been telling me time and time again that what the Helper Spirits say is true, and it helps you. So, let’s move forward just like that. Me, you, and the Helper Spirits. Same stuff, only more clear about how I’m not in charge, but I trust the ones who are.

After all, everyone needs a support team. 

And this time, I feel a deeper surrender than ever knowing that Max has joined me to guide from the other side.

Thank you to all of you for listening, for hearing my story, and for waiting patiently as I put these sessions on pause for months. 

I’m immensely grateful for your grace & support in this time, and all the kind messages I’ve received regarding Max’s passing. I know many of you loved him, through my stories, my Facebook posts, or even just getting to know him in this moment. I appreciate it.

Now, I’m grateful to say, while waves of grief still do pass through at times, I feel something steady in me growing that feels like a new chapter ready to be written.

And, it feels like a huge sigh of relief to finally have the energy & space-holding ability to be able to sit with you again for the sessions that make my heart soar (and yours). For a minute there I was scared that I would never return to doing this again. But, here we are– a new chapter. 

That, and I have prints that will be available on the website soon, to stay tuned for those. We will continue hosting webinars, and I'm even getting back into Full Moon gatherings, something which I uncovered from the rubble when getting back on my feet. It has been a true whirlwind of

It's good to connect with you again, and it's good to be coming home to me, too.

Thank you. 

With Love,

Lak’weh Anastasia